There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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