Is it because I queefed?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
