There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
