why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
