There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
