He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
