i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
