Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
