is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
