It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
