it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
