Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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