We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
