actually, I'm a sock model
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
