Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
