she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I understand Curling. That high.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize