oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Let's get the cat blown out
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
