Swine flu. Run for my life!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
