someone owes me an orgasm
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
