OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
