Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
