You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
