You work out of a Hotel?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm both gender and math confused
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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