I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You need a sexual gate keeper
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
