he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
