Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
