Pappa wants mamma naked
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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