im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
