This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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