i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
