if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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