A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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