My pussy is not your playground.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You made out with two different species that night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
