Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
