just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
