Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
