I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
