he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
