weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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