I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
