I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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