ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize