i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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