so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
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