I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
