Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
