'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you have feelings for this penis?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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