last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
