the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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