I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
