guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
