my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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