I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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