flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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