Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
