I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
