Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
