What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you win again, gameday.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize