she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
