i barfeds in our rink
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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