was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize