Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
