Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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