yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
