$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
