Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
