D3 body, D1 cock
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
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