I could have mohawked her pubes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
